HUNGER’s guide to Christmas hangovers

If you’re anything like us at HUNGER, you’re no stranger to a festive hangover. Perhaps you’ve had to drag your sorry (and embarrassed) arse into the office after trying to snog the IT guy at the work Christmas party. Or maybe you always get a bit sick in your mouth when your mum pops open that Christmas morning Buck’s Fizz after too many pints the night before. Either way, the lead up to Big J’s birthday is undeniably marked by hedonism and a remarkable inability to say no to a drink. So, we thought we’d share our tips for not getting too trollied this festive season (and what to do when you inevitably do it anyway). First, though, we thought we’d share some stories from HUNGER readers to remind ourselves why it’s not always the best idea to spend the entire month of December getting smashed. 

Fairytale of New Pork

It was Boxing Day morning and my sisters and I were laying on the sofa in a very sorry state. In a bid to soak up the alcohol, my dad had kindly delivered some sausage sandwiches to us from the kitchen as we lay on what felt like our death beds. My sister took one bite and immediately projectile-vomited onto the carpet. Thankfully, my dad wasn’t in the splash zone, but he was pretty pissed off  — and didn’t he make it known as he made a right show of cleaning it up with one of those ridiculous wet vacuum things.

An extended Christmas break

Last year, my co-worker got too drunk at our work party and told our manager that we all knew about the affair he’d had with a girl that used to be at our company five years ago — and that we’d all seen the screenshots of the email she sent the whole company about it when she quit. He didn’t join any of our team meetings until March.

Egg-nog?

I got so sloshed at the pub on Christmas Eve one year that instead of my Christmas Day dinner, all I could stomach was a boiled egg.

A present behind the radiator

It had been a quiet Christmas day spent with my mum and her partner, until I took myself off to the pub to meet some friends. I got invited down to my friend’s house to play games and drink some more. When I got back home I blacked out. I woke up in the middle of the night throwing up on myself (it was reminiscent of a volcano). In my drunken state I left it all there and went to bed. When I got up, I went into the front room and the couch looked like a Jackson Pollock. My mum’s partner helped me clean it up as I experienced what can only be described as a psychedelic hangover — I was literally seeing things that weren’t there. Then, two days later, my mum put the radiator on and discovered the remnants cooking away behind it.

Silent Night

Last year, I got so drunk at our Christmas work do that I forgot how to speak English (I’m monolingual). On my way home, I lost my Secret Santa present, which was an amazing bluetooth microphone and a bottle of sparkling rosé (it’s probably for the best that I lost that). I have no idea how I managed to swap trains on the journey back.

A suspicious Christmas 

I went out for my friend’s birthday on Christmas Eve. I thought we were going for dinner so I didn’t eat before, but when I got there it was just a bar. I ended up getting hammered on cocktails and flirting shamelessly with my friend’s brother — that really pissed her off and by the time we got to the next place she was barely speaking to me. I woke up the next morning to my dad offering me Buck’s Fizz. I thought it was suspicious to not accept, so I spent the whole day sipping booze I didn’t want while my mum interrogated me about whether or not I was hungover. I had to sneak off to the toilet to be sick three times.

All I want for Christmas is… to not be deathly hungover

If those stories weren’t enough to convince you to go a little bit easier on the booze this Christmas, we spoke to Sarah Williamson, a speaker, author and lifestyle coach on a mission to help us drink more sensibly. Here are her top tips for not overdoing it…

Weeknight drinks

It turns out that you don’t have to have a drink every time you go to the pub — who knew? When it comes to going to the pub after work, Sarah’s advice is to get there early. “It sounds counter-intuitive, I know,” she says, “but arrive early and order your alcohol-free drink. You can order a tonic and it’ll look like a G&T. Always have something in your hand so that, as people offer to get you a drink, you can say, ‘no thank you, I’ve got one’.”

Be the host with the most

Another sneaky tip is to host — or assign yourself as the person in charge of nipping to the bar. “Designate yourself as the bar-runner, slash drinks host,” Sarah says. “If you’re at someone’s house, you can top everyone else’s drinks up for them whilst keeping your own watered down.”

Question whether you’re in the headspace for a drink

We’ve probably all experienced a time when we’ve gotten carried away with the old booze because we feel awkward or nervous. To that end, Sarah has some pretty sensible advice: “Take a moment before the event to question why you might be feeling like you need a drink. If it’s because you are anxious, overwhelmed or nervous, think of another coping strategy or tool other than alcohol to help you through.”

And, finally, if you do let the party get the better of you…

The good news is, if you get carried away, you don’t need to beat yourself up about it. “If the party gets the better of you and your hangxiety is through the roof the next day,” Sarah says, “be very gentle on yourself. Coming to a place of awareness and acceptance around your alcohol consumption often takes some learning. You’ll now know what you can do differently on a night out next time. On hangover-fuelled mornings, sleep, rehydrate and then get out in the fresh air for a few hours.”