It’s that time of year when your Skyscanner tabs are multiplying and the group chat’s gone dead. Someone’s suggesting Bognor Regis, someone else is “on a budget” and you’re standing under an umbrella at yet another failed BBQ wondering how it’s already June and you still haven’t felt warm. And even if you’ve locked in on Crete — which is, of course, a solid choice — you probably don’t want to rock up somewhere quite as obvious as Malia, being stampeded down by a group of stags wearing ironic t-shirts, while the groom-to-be trails behind ashamedly in a giraffe costume.
That’s where we come in. Crete’s not just another party destination, or pretty Greek island — it’s the birthplace of Zeus (as far as mythology is concerned) and home to Europe’s first advanced civilisation, the Minoans (this bit is actual history). The result? A place where mythology, ruins and beach bars all peacefully coexist. But while it’s the north coast that usually pulls in the crowds, East Crete has a bit more of that sexy, under-the-radar allure — no big clubs, no blow-up swans, just crumbling mountain villages and family-run wineries. Plus Spinalonga, which (a bit hilariously) used to be a leper colony, but is now a delightful smudge of Venetian ruins floating off the coast. The vibe is slower and a little more *mature*. There’s top-quality food, traditional music and people actually look you in the eye — and not just because they’re trying to chat you up.
Right in the middle of it all is Phāea Blue Palace. A slow-living, design-forward boutique hotel, it’s one of those places that exceeds every expectation, even though you already know it’s going to be top-notch. It’s also stylish without trying too hard — while the hotel is rooted in real Cretan culture, no one is going to make you feel embarrassed for drinking Fanta Lemon on the balcony in your bathrobe. And the beach this said balcony overlooks? Scattered with perfectly-rounded pebbles that make you question why you’ve been letting sand get into your unmentionables for all these years.
Phāea Blue Palace isn’t just your standard five-star show-off, then. Sure, there’s a private beach, a sea-facing spa and rooms that feel like they were dreamt up by a minimalist with an excellent taste in textiles, but — at the risk of sounding a bit like a hippy — it’s the vibe that gets you. Everything slows down. The WiFi still works (relax), but the urge to scroll? Gone. From the moment you saunter into reception, it’s clear that nobody is in a rush. And neither should you be. Your emails feel increasingly less urgent and, soon, the only reason you’ll be using your phone is to Google how to become a Greek citizen.
The bits you should leave the sun lounger for
The Blue Door
Perched on the water’s edge, the Blue Door is a tiny taverna with big main-character energy. A bit like a Dachshund. Or an ex-boyfriend. Once a fisherman’s house, it now serves fresh-caught seafood, crispy calamari, an array of dips to die for and wine so cold you can almost taste their electric bill (not our problem). The views? Stupidly romantic. You’ll want to propose — it doesn’t matter to who. Maybe the head chef?
Boat days
Sail past Spinalonga — the island with a wild history and even better views — and soak it all in. Local wine. Crystal water. Sun that feels like therapy (we know what we’d prefer).
Cooking class with Phāea chefs
Back at the Blue Door, you can learn to whip up your own romantic dinners with Phāea’s chefs. You’ll make tzatziki from scratch, hand-roll vine leaves and grill prawns so massive that all future prawn-related experiences will be ruined. Just picture it — elbow-deep in olive oil, wine in (greasy) hand, guided by a chef who you now not only trust with your dinner, but your life.
Phāea Farmer’s Feast pop-up
Held up in the hills, the name of the game is long tables, blue gingham, food made with love and Cretan wine that magically — and, perhaps, dangerously — never runs out. By course three, you’ll be swapping life stories with strangers and toasting to things, and people, you didn’t even know existed until an hour prior. At risk of sounding like a hippy once again, it’s almost an emotional experience.
The spa
Sea-facing. Sun-soaked. Smells like everyone leaving you the fuck alone. Skip the sea moss detox and go straight for anything involving oil, total silence and full-body rubbing (not like that). You’ll walk in tense and leave floating.
If you absolutely insist on leaving the hotel
Elounda
Five minutes away and perfect for a wander, cold beer and watching the sun set over the water, this little town’s energy is sleepy and quietly smug in the best way.
Plaka
Cute, cobbled and where you’ll get the best pictures for your photo dump. This village has a few boutiques, some tavernas and lots of cats (which will also inevitably make it into the photo dump). You can get that boat to Spinalonga from here, too.
Knossos Palace
Okay, it’s an hour’s drive, but probably worth it for the *culture*. Think: Minoan ruins and mythology aplenty. If you like your architecture falling apart (but in a chic way), this is your spot.
Kritsa
Around a forty-minute drive from Phāea Blue, Kritsa is a traditional mountain village known for its handmade lace, vibrant culture and delicious local pies (they might make you cry, just warning you). You can stroll through its narrow streets to experience a bit of that authentic Cretan life.
Kolokytha beach
About ten minutes drive, it’s not the easiest to get to, but it’s definitely worth it. Bring water, snacks and a towel that you don’t mind getting dusty. It’s giving off-grid, but not in a gross, unhygienic way.
Now go and book your flights — you’ll thank us later.
Make a reservation at Phāea Blue Palace here.
- WriterCherelle Chambers
