Shia LaBeouf reveals he contemplated suicide before turning to Catholicism
Shia LaBeouf has revealed he contemplated suicide after being overwhelmed with “shame” before turning to god and Catholicism.
LaBeouf studied Catholicism in preparation for his role in Padre Pio, which is about the saint of the same name. He explained that his suicidal thoughts came at a time when he was accused of sexual battery against his ex-girlfriend, FKA Twigs in 2020.
The star opened up about his difficult periods in a 90-minute interview with Bishop Robert Barron, the founder of Catholic ministerial organisation Word On Fire. Recalling the time he was accused, LaBeouf said: “At this point I’m nuclear. Nobody wants to talk to me, including my mother. The manager’s not calling. The agent’s not calling. I’m not connected to the business anymore.”
The actor then went on to explain that he felt suicidal, saying: “I had a gun on the table. I was outta here. I didn’t want to be alive anymore when all this happened. Shame like I had never experienced before – the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go. You can’t go outside and get a taco. But I was also in this deep desire to hold on.”
LaBeouf said that the faith he found by researching Padre Pio came as a surprise and that he was more focused on his career than spirituality at the time. “The reach-out had happened. I was already there, I had nowhere to go,” he said. “This was the last stop on the train. There was nowhere else to go – in every sense.”
“I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him. Drawing me away from worldly desires. It was all happening simultaneously. But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up [to the monastery] if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m gonna save my career,’” he continued.
When discussing FKA Twigs LaBeouf said: “I wanted to go on Twitter and write all these things. I wanted to justify this and explain all this. Now I actually see that… the woman saved my life. She is, for me, a saint in my life. She saved my life. That perspective switch feels miraculous.”
LaBeouf denied all allegations against him in February 2021. The singer’s lawsuit claimed that the actor knowingly gave her a sexually transmitted disease and also accused him of “relentless abuse”, including sexual battery, assault and infliction of emotional distress. The trial between LaBeouf and FKA Twigs is scheduled to take place in LA on April 17th, 2023.
